Mediation Within

by Laura Holliday

I greet and acknowledge the Omnipresence in all of you.

As an attorney and mediator, I have used the dispute-resolution technique of mediation many times in my practice to assist clients in resolving conflict. Recently, I discovered that not only do I use this process in my profession, I use it to resolve conflict within myself. Like many, I do not always pay attention and monitor the thought processes I utilize to navigate daily life.

In Mindful Mediation, A Handbook for Buddhist Peacemakers, John A. McConnell defines the process as follows-"to mediate is to 'go between' where the relationship between the parties has broken down to the extent that they cannot talk about the problem constructively."

Often, when trying to reach clarity on an issue, I find the "I" of me stepping outside of and away from those aspects of my personality that are in conflict. The "I" becomes a neutral facilitator, actively listening, respecting each point of view, and weighing the interest of each aspect in seeking a resolution that benefits and serves the interests of all. When this process is utilized, all aspects of myself are integrated, harmonized, and move towards wholeness. The issue is resolved, the struggle disappears, and the appropriate action can then be taken.

The changeless, indestructible, eternal "I" is pure spirit and brings into this life all the lessons and experiences learned from countless other lifetimes. It also has access to all knowledge contained within the Omnipresence. Because it is endowed with personality and ego, which is needed to maneuver in this existence, it experiences tension and struggle between perceived divisions within itself. This tension and struggle are present to help the personality make appropriate choices that are aligned with and in agreement with its soul. When choices are made contrary to the overall direction of the "I", conflict appears and the process of mediation can be used to reduce or eliminate that conflict.

When we learn to mediate with ourselves, we can use this knowledge in the resolution of conflict within our families, the workplace, and the greater community.

We humans desire to be heard, respected, and validated. Sometimes it is easier to extend these virtues to others than it is to ourselves. When we use the technique of mediation within, the cessation of struggle and conflict creates a welcoming environment within that extends to all who share this universe. It allows us to have compassion for not only ourselves, but for all aspects of creation. A harmonious inner environment allows us to perceive the world and its inhabitants in a different manner. We began to understand that all aspects of creation spring from one source-call it Universal Spirit, Omnipresence, Creator, God, All That Is, or One. We began to realize there are no separations between us.

In our present existence of technological advancement, we have learned that all creation contains the same physical elements and thus is connected. In the unseen realm of spirit, we are realizing we possess the awesome power of physically manifesting what we envision, based on our beliefs and the choices we make. The dream we define as life is really a magical kingdom where all things are possible, based on what we believe to be true and desire to create. We come to realize we are powerful spiritual beings having a human experience and not humans having a spiritual experience.

When the struggle within is minimized, we can pay attention to our thoughts and recognize we are physically manifesting what we think. Because of this realization, we take charge and live in a conscious manner. We understand that to injure creation is to injure ourselves. We gain greater understanding of others and the community. We come to know ourselves and to be true to that knowing. We take responsibility for our lives and no longer feel victimized. We know we can create the kind of life we truly want. When the struggle is minimized, we can listen to the silence and hear what our soul is saying to us. We can hear it saying-

KNOW you are blessed;
KNOW you are an aspect of the One;
KNOW you are privy to only a minute portion of the big picture;
KNOW you are unique within the sameness;
KNOW you are more than the sum of your parts;
KNOW you are loved;
KNOW all is very well indeed.

Laura Holliday is a certified family mediator, consultant, and attorney.