Elizabeth Reynolds: Beginning Again

by Nell Richardson

Elizabeth Reynolds is as bright and cheerful as the colors she has used in her new home, which a recent visitor described as "like walking through a box of crayons." Because Elizabeth is an interior designer, it is safe to say that the redecorated deanery of Christ Church Cathedral reflects her personality, and the greens, yellows, reds, and blues definitely say "happy, energetic, bold!" When she talks about beginning her life in Houston as wife of new Dean Joe Reynolds, Elizabeth is consistently upbeat. "This is an opportunity to make changes in my life," she says, adding that, after many years of suburban parishes, the Reynolds both look on an urban ministry as an exciting new adventure.

Elizabeth describes herself and Joe as a "ministry team," in that they do things and make decisions together. She sees her role within the parish as primarily supportive, and she generally does not take leadership roles in the church because "it ties you up" and can create problems when you are the rector's wife. However, Elizabeth is quick to point out that she cannot take credit for Joe's accomplishments and that she is responsible for her own life as a Christian. "I don't think St. Peter will be impressed if I try to get into heaven because my husband is a big deal when I haven't done a thing to deserve it on my own."

In recent years, Elizabeth has made a strong effort to take charge of her own spiritual life. A self-described extrovert-"as high on the scale as you can get"-she finds it easy to join groups, be around people, and take on tasks that put her in the thick of activities. What is hard for her is to be alone, to be contemplative and quiet. "I tend to be scattered and all over the place," she says, "and I need to bring more discipline to my life. A year or so ago, I recognized that I needed to begin a new spiritual journey, to go inside myself more." One sign of this journey is the book of daily offices that resides on the coffee table on the deanery's sun porch; Elizabeth faithfully reads these daily church-prescribed lessons.

A significant step in Elizabeth's spiritual life happened a few years ago when Joe discovered the Cowley Brothers monastery in Cambridge, Massachusetts, operated by the Society of St. John the Evangelist (SSJE), an Episcopal order. Among other charming features of this institution is that it may be the only monastery in the world with a double room, a fact quickly noticed by the Reynolds. Every year, they spend several days there on what they call a "modified retreat"-that is, they spend their mornings in prayer, worship, and contemplation, and their afternoons in Boston. They hasten to point out that they are always back at the monastery in time for compline! As part of her current spiritual path, Elizabeth is in the process of becoming a member of the SSJE Fellowship, which means committing to a "rule of life" involving regular prayer, devotions, and other exercises designed to bring the "rhythm, discipline, and order" that Elizabeth is currently seeking in her life.

Elizabeth regards her move to Houston as a new path for her ongoing spiritual journey, an opportunity to "use my new skills" and to "develop my inner strength." Her generally positive attitude helps her to accept the sad part of the move, which includes leaving behind her two grandchildren. "Of course it's hard to leave family and friends; that sounds trite because it's so true!" But she also observes that there can be affirmation in moving on: "Leaving was wonderful-we had a great time at all the parties and other events; people were so kind to us." And Elizabeth has moved enough times to know that she and Joe always make new friends, and "I just have faith that it will work out."

In keeping with her resolve to be a more disciplined person, Elizabeth is trying not to get involved too quickly, but to take plenty of time to learn about the Cathedral and the city, to meet and get to know parishioners and neighbors, and see what happens. "I'm trying to be open to see what is, and not trying to figure it all out in a hurry." One thing she is leaving undecided is whether to continue the interior design business which she owned and operated for eight and a half years in Atlanta. "Designing is lonely work," says Elizabeth. "For every great hour you spend with a client, you spend twenty more by yourself working on the project." So, although Elizabeth's spiritual life seems to be moving her toward more solitude, she thinks that her professional life might be more satisfying with more people in it. She tries to explain the apparent paradox: "I want to be more internal spiritually but more external professionally-I hope that makes sense."

Once you get to know Elizabeth, it does not come as a surprise to learn that even her decision to become an interior designer had spiritual overtones. She and Joe met in the seventh grade, dated in high school, and married at nineteen after a year of college. As is often the case in such situations, economic realities and the arrival of children interrupted Elizabeth's college life and her pursuit of a career in design. When the children were older, returning to school became an increasing possibility, but she had mixed feelings about the value of her career choice. "Somehow, interior design didn't seem important, compared to feeding the hungry or worthy causes like that."

But then her beloved Aunt Wes had a stroke and was confined to a nursing home, and Elizabeth demonstrated her deep love by decorating her aunt's room, making it a special place in what was otherwise a dreary institutional environment. "My aunt loved the room, I felt good about visiting her there, and the nurses all loved coming in her room because it was a lovely, happy place." This experience helped Elizabeth recognize that she has a gift for helping people be surrounded by beauty, and that this is a gift of great value. Consequently, she went back to school for three and a half years to earn a bachelor of fine arts degree, majoring in interior design.

True to form, Elizabeth loved her new academic life and the opportunity to go to art school as an older student. A big part of its charm for Elizabeth was that it got her out of her safe suburban environment with its limitations on how people should look and act. Elizabeth, who describes herself as "a bit of a rebel" and "not a straight suburban person," thrived on the creativity and freedom of art school. "I've never been big on worrying about how kids look and whether they have long hair or tattoos or whatever. In school, I loved the red heads, the earrings-all of it!"

It was fitting that Aunt Wes taught Elizabeth about values right up until the end of that lady's long life. Aunt Wes raised Elizabeth and her brother and sister after they lost both parents. Elizabeth's mother died when she was eight, and her father four years later. Always sensitive to life's paradoxes, Elizabeth notes that her parents were not churchgoers but that Aunt Wes was very religious. Had her parents lived, Elizabeth would likely not have had the exposure to the religious and spiritual aspects of life that are so meaningful to her today.

It is probably obvious that Elizabeth is a very self-confident woman. She describes herself with another paradox: "I'm a feminist but not a feminist." On the one hand, she recognizes that women have not always been treated well, including by the church. However, on the other hand, she has not personally been held back: "I never felt there was anything I wanted to do that I couldn't do." Elizabeth is supportive of organizations like Brigid's Place which address the special needs of women. Brigid's Place seems familiar to her because a close friend who is a priest, Maggie Harney, started a similar group called Mary and Martha's Place in Atlanta. Elizabeth was a sounding board for Maggie's hopes and thoughts that went into this project, including her frustration at the church's attitude toward women.

In addition to her interest in Brigid's Place programs, Elizabeth wants to learn more about Houston's Jung Center. She has kept a dream journal for years, after being impressed by a friend's reflection that "you are the only person who can have your dreams, and you ought to pay attention to them." During the move from Atlanta to Houston, Elizabeth had a very active dream life about houses and rooms and furniture that she was constantly arranging and re-arranging. She thinks that these dreams helped her cope with the adjustments involved in uprooting one life and starting a new one.

As you would expect from such an active, cheerful person, Elizabeth has many and varied interests. She is a "big reader" and belonged to a book club in Atlanta that she misses and which she is thinking about replicating in Houston. She likes to do needlepoint and to sew (she is making all the window treatments for the refurbished deanery). She sketches and paints watercolors. As if that were not enough, she loves exercising-when her three sons were little, she would jump rope outside their windows while they napped! Today, she and Joe run together regularly.

In summary, Elizabeth Reynolds is a high-energy, outgoing woman who is not afraid to be quiet with herself, who can see the bright side of virtually any situation, and who regards change as an opportunity for growth and adventure. Welcome to Houston, Elizabeth. We'll learn a lot from you-if we can keep up!

Nell Richardson, a founding member of Brigid's Place, is a member of the vestry of Christ Church Cathedral.